When I think about the essence of being in business—whether as a leader, entrepreneur, or even a parent—I’ve come to understand it as a state of being. This isn’t limited to the professional world. Family, too, is a form of business. After all, how often do we hear, “I’ve got family business to attend to”?
So, what does it mean to “be” in this state? It’s about being conscious and present, about stepping back rather than plunging headfirst into challenges. It’s the ability to stand at the edge of a problem, viewing it with an objective lens. While our perspective might naturally be influenced by personal biases, this state of “being” allows us to acknowledge those biases and set them aside, even briefly, to holistically understand the issue at hand.
The Analogy of the Bucket
Imagine a bucket filled with the elements of work, life, career, and family. When we jump into that bucket, we risk drowning in the chaos, burning ourselves out in the process. Instead, we need to step back, observe, and self-manage. Being present and conscious allows us to approach challenges with clarity, rather than swinging a hammer in an attempt to extinguish fires.
This distinction is crucial. One approach seeks to understand and respond thoughtfully, while the other imposes solutions, often fueled by a sense of urgency or control. The latter fosters feelings of superiority and can inadvertently feed our egos.
The Ego Trap of Fixing
It’s tempting to jump in and “fix” things. We justify it by saying, “This is for Allah,” or “This is for their own good.” But is it? Take a moment to reflect on the last time you “fixed” a problem. Who benefited most from that action? Did it truly serve others, or was it a way to affirm your own sense of accomplishment?
Through my work with clients and my own journey, I’ve observed that this urge to fix often places us in the “hero” role of the drama triangle (a concept worth exploring if you’re unfamiliar). In that role, we feel validated, even celebrated. But when we step out of that mindset and approach situations with presence, self-management, and curiosity, the dynamic shifts.
Instead of feeding our ego, we empower others. We come from a place of love and respect, enabling those facing challenges to hold themselves accountable and find their own solutions—with our guidance, if needed. This isn’t about relinquishing responsibility but about fostering growth and self-reliance in others.
The Impact of Being Present
When we embrace this state of being, the impact is profound. By stepping back, we empower others to solve their own problems. They feel seen, valued, and capable. And in doing so, we also see ourselves, acknowledge ourselves and inherently accept ourselves as we are. This alignment—between intention and action—creates harmony in how we navigate the world’s complexities.
Contrast this with “doing” without presence. When we rush to act without grounding ourselves in being, our actions are shaped by biases, ego, and a narrow perspective. The solutions we impose might benefit us, but they often overlook the nuances of the situation and the people involved.
Following the Prophet Mohammad SAW’s Example
In the Islamic faith, we have a beautiful example of this state of being in the actions of the Prophet Muhammad SAW (peace be upon him). One story that deeply resonates with me is about the young man who openly expressed his desire to fornicate. In the presence of the Prophet and his companions, the young man’s words caused a stir. But the Prophet’s response was gentle and profound.
Instead of rebuking him, the Prophet placed his hand on the young man’s heart and asked simple, thought-provoking questions: “Would you want this for your sister?” The young man said no. “For your mother? Your female relatives?” Again, the answer was no. Through this gentle dialogue, the young man’s heart softened, and he arrived at his own conclusion. He no longer desired what he had previously sought.
This story encapsulates the essence of being present. It’s about guiding others with love, not imposing our will or fixing their problems for them. As a mother, I’ve often struggled with this. Raising two boys, I’ve had my share of moments where I lost my temper. But when I remember to pause and ask questions, I’ve seen how it opens the door to meaningful dialogue. Now that my boys are grown, they sometimes pose those same reflective questions back to me. SubhanAllah, how beautiful and timeless the teachings of our Deen are!
The Call to Reflection
Gentleness, patience, and a willingness to step back are hallmarks of our faith. Fixing others isn’t part of our Deen. Instead, we’re called to guide, to empower, and to reflect. When we approach life with this mindset, we align ourselves with the prophetic example and cultivate a state of being that transforms not only ourselves but also those around us.
So, I invite you to reflect: How often do you act from a place of being versus doing? What shifts might you make to approach challenges with presence and intention?
Let’s continue this conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts, insights, and questions. Together, we can explore what it means to embrace this state of being in all aspects of our lives—business, family, and beyond.
A New Chapter
As I step into Rajab 1446 (2025), this reflection marks a personal and professional shift for me. I’m opening up the internal conversations I’ve had with myself for years and inviting you to join. This journey is one of growth, faith, and alignment. May Allah guide us all on this path. Aameen.
*P.S. I’m diving deeper into my Islamic faith. What I share here are my personal reflections. Allah is perfect, and Allah knows best.*