Looking back, I’m almost surprised at how narrow I actually was. I had been living from one place only: high energy. Upbeat, can-do, opportunistic. It was my default, my most natural gear, and it worked. It was genuinely my power, one I could count on, and I relished it.
So what does range actually mean in coaching?
It’s the capacity to move beyond your default reaction, the gear you reach for automatically, and choose instead the response that actually helps the person in front of you see something new or learn something new about themselves. Also what you might learn about the person in front of you.
A coach who only plays one note limits their clients’ development.
Range, in this context, can be looked at in three ways.
Your reflex, or habitual way of responding. This is the way you typically respond to a discussion, argument, or point of view, regardless of who you’re speaking to. And this includes if you have two different personas, an “office persona,” a “home persona,” and/or a “friends persona.”
Example: road-running over someone else’s thoughts by seeing our own thoughts as the “right way.” Responding without hearing the other.
Responding with consciousness of the mind and heart/body. This is a response driven by the internal compass and intentionality you bring to the conversation in the first place.
Example: your difficult relative comes at you with colorful commentary. Instead of reflex-responding, you make a choice about what kind of relationship you’d like to have with this person, and what your intentionality is behind it. So inherently, your responses will reflect what your heart and body hold. Going back to this example, you want to retain a good relationship with your relatives, so instead of being defensive, you ask them what they really need and what’s important about that need. This is a curious way of being, thus preserving the overall relationship.
Balancing perspectives: holding more than one viewpoint, and allowing the conclusion to come to fruition together. It’s the ability to move between states, rather than getting stuck defending a single one. This is where transformation can happen for the person you’re speaking to.
When a coach can step into this, that’s where clients experience real transformation.
Range isn’t about more energy or less energy. It’s having access to whatever register the moment actually needs.
That’s what my coach was asking of me. A different kind of power. Quieter. Stiller. Speak slower, lower, take my time before the next word landed, sit inside a silence instead of rushing to fill it.
I struggled. A lot. I didn’t have that kind of range yet.
At the time, sitting still was the struggle, because it required me to self-manage, to be still within my own being. And I wasn’t comfortable seeing myself as the person Allah made me valuable regardless of whether I moved, produced, or fixed anything. The action, the movement, the feedback it gave me, that’s what validated me. It fueled a false sense that I was somehow more worthy because of it.
The fixer in me wanted to come out and feel validated.
There’s a name for that: performance-based self-esteem, believing you only have value when you achieve, produce, or fix things for someone else.
Pull the saboteur thread we’ve been walking through these past weeks, it runs right through this too. A saboteur is often just a strength, overused.
Mine was the Hyper-Achiever, overusing pragmatism, getting things done. I’d worn it so hard it became the only way I knew how to prove I mattered. My inner Judge and my Stickler couldn’t sit in that quiet either. Neither of them could eat.
But working from that lower, slower place brought something I didn’t expect: real intentionality. It sharpened an intuition I already had, and let me practice coaching more bravely, giving my clients permission to become braver too.
I know this is challenging, because it asks you to step into someone you haven’t met yet. And as humans, we only have the past and its experiences to refer to. And yet, as a Muslim, we are firstly to believe in the ghaib, the unseen, the unknown, and every day we wake up not knowing what the day will bring us. And Allah says trust Me. I echo it. Put your trust in Allah.
Today, range means stepping into a version of myself I haven’t fully met yet, quietly, on an ordinary day, not in one dramatic moment. None of this exists without Allah first, and without giving myself permission to lean into the parts of me I hardly use, my private wins with Him, shown to no one, that same quiet persistence now showing up in my coaching too.
Here’s what that actually looks like on an ordinary week.
I’m a morning person. For a long time, I crammed everything into my mornings, salat, duas, breakfast for my husband, my latte, Quran, Arabic, social media updates, chatting with family, my PQ reps, and walking. All of it, because morning was my superpower time. It was completely unsustainable. The moment my schedule shifted and I couldn’t fit it all in, I’d write the whole day off, since afternoons are when my brain cells feel the smallest. I was being a total Stickler, insisting everything fit one sacred window or not at all.
You all know that all-or-nothing mentality? Life isn’t like that.
So I tried something uncomfortable. I looked at my actual energy, not my assumptions, and noticed the hours I usually spent half-checked-out with my husband and some TV. I moved my Quran time to Asr.
Turns out my brain isn’t that small in the afternoon. Sitting with my Creator soothed me. It gave me clarity, and actually “more time.” It closed my day instead of leaving me scrambling to open it perfectly. I’ve added more into that window since, and it’s become something I look forward to, not dread.
This shift reshaped my own life purpose statement too. My sentence has broadened as I’ve leaned more on Allah for clarity. It’s no longer just about Muslims, it’s grown to encompass humanity at large, helping people harness their uniqueness and use their capacities for whatever they were actually meant to impact.
And I’ve moved from being a warm cinnamon bun to something quieter, a quiet turn behind a loud life, so the ones dying to become themselves can rise into their purpose bravely, and live with ihsan.
So here’s my invitation this week: find your version of range. Something small enough that only you would notice it.
Maybe instead of rushing to work, you walk there deliberately slowly. Maybe instead of racing to get dinner on the table, you slow down enough to actually be in awe of what Allah made. Maybe instead of defending yourself the next time someone questions your work, you sit back, take it in, and actually listen.
Tell me what your version looks like. I’d genuinely love to hear it.
With you on becoming the person Allah will be proud of.
Coach Gemi, Leadership | Identity Coach
Learn more about me here